On retirement

Last week an upstairs neighbor knocked on the door and introduced himself as a North Carolinian. He and his wife came down for coffee, and we had our first conversation with another retired couple. They have been retired for four years. They identified us as being in the "slug stage" - an apt description. Retirement may be something that we learn and create as we go along - an exciting opportunity as long as we enjoy good health and financial security. Also, other retirees seem open to sharing their experience at this new stage in life.

As slugs we read start most days by reading the Times, have breakfast, go to the Y. Then it is almost time for lunch. We fill in the rest of the day by (1) exploring the neighborhood, (2) taking care of business as we transition from work life to retirement life and from Raleigh to Indianapolis and Malaysia, and (3) searching for music, plays and miscellaneous activities. Doug has enjoyed having enough time to cook soups and bread - both involved too much time when he was working.

The question "What will you do?' seems more relevant now. Our lives will be vacuous if we stick to our current schedule for a long time. I was unnerved to read the following passage in Alan Bennett's A Life Like Other People's: "Dad would have done them [peeled potatoes] first thing that morning - or even the night before . . . jobs like this would get done earlier and earlier and long before they needed to be, one meal no sooner cleared than the next prepared. I have seen similar premature preparations in the homes of other retired couples . . . so that squalor and slatternliness seem almost cheerful by comparison." A comment that makes the question of what you will do one not to be ignored. While volunteering is promoted as a retirement activity, organizations reasonably ask for a time commitment. Even having 6 months between retirement and moving proved to be too short. I anticipate having more opportunities in Malaysia, since we will spend longer stretches of time there.

Recently, a friend told me a relevant story. An gerontologist friend of theirs asked her husband what goals he had for his retirement. Other then other than reading his way through a pile of books he had none. Years later when the gerontologist friend retired her husband asked him what his goals were. His answer was "I gave up on that idea years ago."

I have my pile of books and I have projects to keep me busy: preparing to lead an accreditation site visit team; designing a policy-oriented workshop to be offered through UNDP; and resuming my research on collaboration among NGOs in Malaysia. A former colleague reminded me that this is the most freedom I have had since kindergarten. Now to figure out how to use it.